Dear Colby,

I can't believe it's been six months today since you were taken away from us and replaced with the most unimaginable sadness and grief. You were gone so quickly; I didn't even get to say goodbye. But even if I had the opportunity, how could I?

I'm so thankful that I didn't have to watch you suffer in any way. I'm so thankful that I don't have to watch any children suffer and grow up without their dad. There was a time, however, when I (very selfishly) hoped that Aubra would turn up pregnant. She didn't. I guess I was just hoping for something of yours that I could hold onto- your legacy.

But, your legacy lives on in a million different ways. You taught us all so much about what it truly means to be a kind and gentle soul. Trust me, I'm not the only one who has grown from my loss. Sounds weird, doesn't it? To grow? I would think it would be the other way around. But in these six months, I have learned what it was that made you, you, and that has made me a better person.

I was so excited to see your foster care journey begin. I knew it would be hard for you guys, and I was a little scared that it would be hard for all of us as well. Selfish again, I know. But, one thing that I knew for sure was that those children would be better for knowing you and having you as a "father" even if only for a little while. This is another reason that your legacy will live on...I will make sure that because of you, these children will know that someone cared for them. I will call it Colby's Kids, because it wouldn't be more than an idea without you.

Man, I miss you so much! Every single day, there are so many times that I think "I need to call him and tell him this story" or "I need to ask Colby about that." And I can't. And it's a really shitty reality check to have to endure all.the.time. But it doesn't change the fact that you were the best brother imaginable. You truly were a best friend. And I wouldn't trade the 33 years I got with you for anything.

Thank you for being you.
And for making me a better me.

I love you!